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Funny Mom Quotes

Inside: The To Funny Mom Quotes that will have you on the floor laughing! Keep reading if you want to feel seen as a mother.


The Most Hilarious Mom Quotes

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I think we can all agree that as moms, that motherhood can be really tough at times. Although the most rewarding job you will ever have, it is also the toughest. 

With that being said, I love to laugh about all the funny things that come with being a mom. When I come across those relatable and funny quotes and phrases about motherhood, I can’t help but laugh.


It’s nice to know that we are not alone, and we’re all going through the rollercoaster of motherhood. 

So, if you have a sense of humor and are looking for some funny mom quotes and sayings? I’ve got you covered, momma!

A little humor can go a long way on the extra hard days. Here’s a list of funny motherhood quotes that will be sure to brighten your day.  

These funny and relatable mom quotes are perfect for when you need a good laugh. Because as a mom, some days you just gotta laugh.  Let’s go laugh about all of the crazy things that we go through as moms!

The Best Funny Mom Quotes Out There

“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so someone in the house is happy to see you.” – Nora Ephron

“It’s spicy: Universal mom code for ‘I don’t want to share’.” – Unknown

It's Spicy mom quote

“Being a mom means being on your A-game for hide-and-seek, but pretending you can’t find them immediately.” – Alyson Hannigan

“Being a mom means kids banging on the bathroom door like SWAT, asking for a drink while you’re in the shower. AND dad is in the kitchen.” – Unknown

“I’ve conquered a lot of things. Blood clots in my lungs – twice. Knee and foot surgeries. Winning grand slams being down match point, to name just a few, but I found out by far the hardest is figuring out a stroller.” – Serena Williams

“I know how to do anything—I’m a mom.” – Roseanne Barr

“Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is suspicious.”

Silence is Golden Mom Quote

I love all my children equally. Except for the one that sleeps…I love that one more.

“I think every working mom probably feels the same thing. You go through big chunks of time where you’re thinking, “this is impossible – oh, this is impossible.” And then you just keep going and keep going and sort of do the impossible.” – Tina Fey

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says ‘keep away from children’.” – Susan Savannah

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller

“Patience: What you have when there are too many witnesses.” – Unknown

“Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put laundry in the oven.” – Unknown

Funny Mom Quotes - Some days I  amaze myself quote

“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.” – Lane Olinghouse

“I used to have functioning brain cells, but I traded them for children.” – Unknown

“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” – Milton Berle

“May your coffee be stronger than your toddler.” – Unknown

“I don’t want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.” – Unknown

“The fastest land animal is a toddler with something in his mouth.” – Unknown

The fasted land animal is a toddler quote

 “When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.” – Erma Bombeck

“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.” – Calvin Trillin 

“You never realize how weird you are until you have a kid that acts just like you.” – Unknown

Weird Mom Quote

“Bedtime is the leading cause of dehydration in children.” – Unknown

“Motherhood is basically finding activities for children in three-hour pockets of time for the rest of your life.” – Mindy Kaling

“Is there any way to file a temporary restraining order against a toddler? Just like 24 hours, maybe. 2 days tops. Asking for a friend” – Unknown

 “I always say if you aren’t yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them.” – Reese Witherspoon

“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.” -Sam Levenson

“Being a mom means kids will point out your gray hairs, but also that you’ll never have to eat alone in a bathroom again.” – Chrissy Teigen

“The best way to get your children’s attention is to relax and look comfortable.” – Unknown

Best Way To Get Your Children's Attention Quote

“Hiding in the bathroom with the door locked, eating Nutella. Not even embarrassed.” – Unknown

“Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.” – Ed Asner

“Children are like crazy, drunken small people in your house” – Julie Bowen

Julie Bowen Quote

“A mother is the person you can always call to see how long chicken lasts in the fridge.”

“Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” – Ray Romano

Ray Romano Parenthood Quote

“Sleep at this point is just a concept, something I’m looking forward to investigating in the future.” – Amy Poehler

“Motherhood is putting the same 7 toys away 30 times a day” – Unknown

“The closest I get to a spa day is when the steam from the dishwasher smacks me in the face” – Unknown

“Today’s goal:  Keep the tiny humans alive” – Unknown
Keep Tiny Humans Alive Quote

“Human children are like pancakes. The first one you kinda throw away, and the second one you’re like, ‘Oh OK, I get it.'” – Olivia Wilde

“Sleeping with a toddler is like sleeping with a drunk octopus looking for its car keys” – Unknown
Funny Mom Quote


“A messy bun is the crown of a mom.” – Unknown

“I’m just a girl, stuck under a sleeping child, with a full bladder, and a dying phone.” – The Wendy House

“The best thing about being a mom is that you can guilt trip your kids because you gave birth to them. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.” – Nia Vardalos

“Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out.” – Unknown

Funny Mom Quote 2

“Remember when you first became a parent. And everything was so terrifying? Now you watch your kid lick the grocery cart and you don’t even break a sweat.”  – Unknown

“I’m just a mom, standing in front of my husband, trying to say something that I can no longer remember because our kids interrupted us 175 times.” – Unknown


Wrapping Up – The Best Funny Mom Quotes Out There

So there you have it. What one made you laugh the most? 

You know, diving into these funny mom quotes really shines a light on the hilarious side of motherhood. It’s a rollercoaster…one minute, you’re trying to be all chill, and the next, you’re fishing out half-eaten snacks from the depths of a purse that’s seen better days. 

It’s also like being in an elite club where the membership fee is sleep deprivation and the reward is sticky handprints on your favorite shirt. But hey, that’s motherhood for you – a mix of spilled milk, toy messes, a sticky purse, and those little moments that make you laugh till you cry.

Being a mom might not always be easy, but it sure is full of good times and great stories for you and your mom friends. 

Oh, and don’t forget… you’re a good mom!

Do you have any funny mom quotes to share? I would love to hear them! Maybe you have an original one to share? Please let me know in the comments. The more we can all laugh, the better! 




About Morgan Wender

I’m a boy mom, dog mom, bee mom, lover of all things Disney, and lover of making the best out of this chaotic life of mine. I created this platform to share my life, and help normalize “big topic” motherhood issues. I hope you enjoy my mix of life, love, levity, and everything in between.Now that you know a little about me, I would love to know more about you! Find me over on Instagram, and shoot me a DM if you would like to chat!the journey

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Hi, I’m Morgan! I created this platform to be able to share my life, help normalize big topic motherhood issues, and help simplify all the things I learned the complicated way. I hope you enjoy my mix of life, love, levity, and everything in between

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